School isn't about the school

"Pay attention. Pay close attention to everything, notice what no one else notices. then you'll know what no one else knows, and that's always useful." - 'City of Ember'

This, taken from the book we are reading in Mrs. Shook's 6th grade class. Deterred by the bigger picture surrounding me in the school system, I've found an enlightening second week within the smaller details. 

While the first week was a warm-up, leaving me wondering how I would possibly be useful, Mrs. Shook didn't hesitate for a moment to involve me in the nit and grit this time. On Tuesday, after their 15 minute morning math sheet time, I was asked to go over the answers with the kids on the board. I hadn't expected to have such an "honor" bestowed upon me and so hadn't even bothered to look at the sheet they'd been given. This resulted in a rather embarrassing series of blunders within one simple subtraction problem. Fortunately, Mrs. Shook creates a highly comfortable and trusting environment and I didn't for a minute feel like I'd failed her. The kids helped me through the problem (which I still did wrong and only found out when Mrs. Shook got up to show a different method) and she used me as a great behavioral example for how to handle mistakes and how proud she was of the way they helped out without making fun. The method she showed was one she explained she didn't even know until this year: a number line...for subtraction problems. When handed multiple decimal numbers to subtract, you gradually show it on a scale, rounding up to "friendly" numbers and carrying whatever you use until you get to the answer. It is very odd. 

Fortunately, my demonstration of adults getting by without the very math they were trying to learn did not deter Mrs. Shook from involving me, and as we continued with simple Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally equations/expressions (Parentheses, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction process) I began to recall my distant and brief fling with mathematics. That morning, Mrs. Shook had shown me a list of 6 "intensive" students she'd narrowed down for me to "track" and help in math. One of them - M - was struggling particularly that day with these equations and the "order of operations" and I spent a good 20 minutes sitting by her desk.  Within that time, I saw her go from apprehensive and dismissive with the work to determined and excited, as she started to grasp the order. By the end of our time, it was decidedly apparent that I was in her favor and she began to wave when I came into the room, tell me stories when we had a moment to talk and willingly ask for help. 

Cool moment number two occurred when during recess, one of the sweetest, hard-working boys in the class chose to stay in and work on the math he'd misunderstood on the last homework. He was also struggling with the order, getting numbers mixed up or trying to use them more then once when he was simplifying the equations. I drew out the process along side him, showing how I liked to use the little > sign dropping down from the combination I was working with to get a new, smaller equation below and then filling in between with the symbols outside the parentheses that I had not yet used. He struggled to apply this consistently but I could see the neurons firing. On our last problem, we ran into a simplified equation of "0-3" where he had written the answer "0". He didn't understand negatives. For the next few minutes, we focused solely on that, drawing number lines and explaining every which way until something clicked. He asked if I could write him another example (say, 6-10) and when he got it, he walked me through: so it's like 10-6 but then it's negative! Being the most considerate in class as well, he thanked me every step of the way and when it was time to get back with the rest of the class, offered to put my paper and pencil away. 

I felt so useful in the class that I'd missed recess duties, which I may have to adjust if that necessity keeps seeming priority. But it was also because I needed to talk to Mrs Shook about organizing their comprehensive test scores in a way that we could see the areas that needed most attention for the whole class. After getting lost in the maze of the copy machine and copying the wrong sides of things a dozen times, I was left with a stack of zeros - nines and columns and codes. No matter how I tried on paper and pen, I couldn't find a system that felt organized to me. So that night, I spent 4 hours tallying and categorizing and charting in three new documents. After nearly melting my brain, I was left with a readable overview of the biggest problem areas, the high-scoring outliers in some and an easy way of seeing the numbers of those I was tracking as well. 

The next morning, I went to Mrs. Shook's early and showed her the work to make sure it was understandable to her. She was thrilled. That morning I got the math sheet early and did it myself, prepared for any curveballs of the spotlight. Instead, she asked me to call on people to go up so I called on a couple of the students I'd been helping and tracking. "I", the boy I'd helped the day before, eagerly raised his hand and chose to do the very type of problem we'd been working on at recess. Without a single falter, he did it correctly, even name dropping "and then Melissa showed me how to..." as he walked through his steps. It was amazing to see. I called on "M" as well, who got her's right for the most part (J motioned for a second pair of "()" from his seat) and "S" who I was to be tracking but hadn't worked with yet. She reminded me a bit of my young self, stubborn and shut down when she made a mistake. She happened to get her table wrong and slumped back to her seat, hiding her face. Mrs. Shook used my mistake from Tuesday to show that it was okay to make mistakes and also gave a monologue about how she wanted everyone to let her know if at any point they felt they were being made fun of for their mistakes. I then went over to help her which was perfect because I'd misunderstood the problem as well and had to make corrections. This seemed to make her feel a bit better and we worked through it together. Later that day when I helped her correct another problem, she more easily accepted her mistake and simply explained how she'd read a number wrong. Way cool. 

Within a screwy system, this class is a beautiful anomaly. Mrs. Shook encourages behavior and an environment that just showers in self esteem and safety to express. And I get a little of the shower as well. One girl handed me a few compliments on my style throughout the day, at the class meeting compliment circle, I was given high praise from "I" on my help the other day and even the smallest details of a wave goodbye or hello when I had to sneak in or out of the classroom was a huge affirmation to the influence of my assistance there. During literacy, I was writing their contributions to the definition of "ominous" on the board and they all complimented my good handwriting. I've quickly gone from feeling out of place to feeling like I can freely contribute input and insight. 

Being in the 3rd grade "behavior class" is a different story that I am still perplexedly trying to navigate when it comes to how I can influence some positive change. It is the teacher's first year and she is rather apparently at a loss for her handful of chaos sometimes. There, it is easy to hate the system because disciplinary is the approach that is most accessible to her. But perhaps if I "Pay attention. Pay close attention to everything, notice what no one else notices..." I will find some small wins with those kids as well.