Pizza Pity Party

Just a little vent. I don't know if this is koshe blog stuff. 

Today was my fifth shift on the job at the restaurant. After my first jampacked busy night yesterday, I was not necessarily surprised to be greeted by Geanie saying that ''we need to get you up to speed or I am going to have to let you go''

This hostess/bussing thing is not my thing. It is not even that I feel badly about myself for not being on the ball. The whole concept is just another one of those perplexing ''well oiled societal things'' that I  don't quite get. There is no getting to know your customers and apparently, if you are not in on things from the get go, there is not much getting to know your coworkers. For my first few shifts, I had been working with rather experienced but young waitstaff who knew their game plan but were clueless on how to teach it to me short of snide remarks and huffing as they have to correct things themselves. Tonight, I was fortunate to be set to sort of shadow an older woman who actually gave me a sense of what my priority tasks should be so I am not darting around trying to keep busy in all of the wrong places. But the staff members that had already seen my performance the nights before were less than sociable. 

During my shifts, emotions just close in. I am constantly reminded that this is just a job, that I am background noise and then I do start to get down on myself. I told myself I would never take another just because shit job. But on the other hand, working a real restaurant is a valuable skill to have. I know it built a lot of the skills that people like Mari, my old farm boss use daily. But each evening, being surrounded by staff who view you as nothing but an obstacle and families jovially laughing around large pies, its easy to make things polarized and pick out details that make it seem like everyone wants you alone and miserable. And I think it is ruining my appreciation of pizza. I am getting scathingly begrudging that I'm not at the other end of the table.  

I was beginning to feel the heat from my coworkers until the end of the night when things finally took a shift. As a large meat pizza came out of the oven, I took a moment, since we were slow and asked Beef kindly if, when I was on shift, they could make at least a slice of veggie pizza. Five minutes later he said he was working on something special for me and came out with a whole trey of sauced breadsticks with cheese and veggies.  

As my mentor was getting ready to leave I asked if she had any feedback for me and she was very kind and patient and constructive, saying it seemed the only major problem was that I did not have guidance before. Something happened during our conversation - perhaps maybe my co worker took it to heart - and she became a bit more light hearted before the end of the night. 

All I needed were those few calm moments of expression that the atmosphere does not make room for. Everything is so rushed and crazy in that environment that warmth and compassion and authenticity seem to sort of take a back seat. And when those are my strengths, I guess its hard to show I am worth the time. The way the night wrapped up really uplifted some of the isolation I was feeling but I know this is not my thing. Geanie is talking as though I am around for months more and I cannot imagine that I did not put a leaving date on my application...but I do hope she knows I am gone before the end of August. 

Perhaps sooner. We'll see how I feel after this first paycheck. 

The foodie part of farming

I of course, have not been out here all this time without getting my hands messy in the kitchen. While I've only had the opportunity to cook a meal once at the farm so far, I've been able to dabble around with some farm goodies in the house kitchen to share.

Andrew had never done bean burger/patties before so when I volunteered to make some for dinner he was uber excited. He hung around and helped chop some veggies so I could show him just how ridiculously easy it is. I usually start with a base that consists of your bean of choice, a good thickener like tahini, an egg (I use flax eggs a lot also) and usually quinoa or oat flakes to help hold it together (although I forgot this time and they turn out fine.) These are Curry Chickpea burgers with curry, paprika, ginger, cumin and a little salt. Then we sauteed some fennel and broccoli with garlic and lemon. It wasn't my best creation but it was tasty. The patties could have been a bit juicier and I would have let the fennel caramelize more if it weren't getting so late. 

Yum! Blackberry Lemon-Coconut Oat Cookies! These began as a raw-ball creation but because of my flavor profile, I wasn't going to add nut-butter and I didn't have dates or anything around to hold it together well so they were a little goopy. I left some out but added coconut flour and baking soda to the rest and put in the oven at 350. 8-10 minutes later, they were puffy, fluffy cookies! The raw treats started out with oats, honey, flax meal, coconut oil, coconut flakes, lemon juice and of course, blackberries. after messing with amounts, I tried to doctor it with arrowroot but I haven't used it much as a thickener so I didn't want to overdo it. I left half the batter raw and put them in the fridge to harden up. No verdict on which ones farm-fam liked more but they were all gone by the end of the day! I might try the raw treats with more arrowroot next time or splurge on dates. But the cookies are a saver. 

We had some extra cabbage from harvest a couple weeks ago so I decided to give Sauerkraut another shot. I've made a number of successful batches in the past but with each time, mold management got messier and messier. I've never had the ideal vessel handy so my makeshift seals usually make or break the deal. I lost the entire last batch I did and couldn't help but be a little deterred after that. So I was a bit anxious to check this one when I ended up using a giant house plant to weigh down a plate over a modest round ceramic baking dish. I had to add some water cause I can never seem to weasel out enough juice with the salt, although I got better at it this time around. Although there was some wild microbial partying happening on top of the plate, this time the kraut was safe and scrumptious. I had added Kombu and Kelp seasoning so it had a very coastal flare. 

I think I've also "beat" myself silly with beats. The jar behind that is pickled beats with onion, ginger and cayenne. 

This is a bread that I've made a number of times before and each time its been a little different. Its not my recipe but it is the best gluten free and vegan sprouted bread recipe ever, which can be found here: The really nom bread recipe. The difference mostly comes in how much a blend the sprouts up. This time I pureed them until they were almost soup and I got this really consistent, rich moist loaf with a perfectly browned top. So when I saw all the berries we had traded with the berry growers at market....I wanted to have my own recipe. And that is what came about this morning. 

Blueberry lemon coconut quinoa loaf. With lemon maple glaze.

For this recipe, I used the basic elements of the bread but messed with the amounts and only sprouted quinoa. Since there wasn't as much sprouted action, I used less flour as well, thinking I'd have less batter. But there ended up being probably near the same amount, although I chose to bake it in a shallower pan as more of a bar loaf. I probably put more flax "egg" in than it needed and the lemon juice amount is a preferential thing. I did quite a bit and then balanced it out with some maple syrup. I used almost a whole pint of blueberries which makes for some really yummy mush but it may have been a bit sturdier if I'd used a few less. The glaze was an after thought and a brilliant one at that. I put it on when it was still warm so the juice sort of seeped in and made bready pudding pockets. I baked it for only 40-50 minutes and while it was getting crisp and solid for the most part, the center was still a bit unstable (as you can see, above) but I don't think it would take any major adjusting. 

Hopefully there will be many more of these to come. 

Life as a wave

 

Today

I am whitewash

wanderer 

waxing somber silence

engulfing sillouettes 

coveted from agendas

on the edge of everything

it is okay to be lost 

The tide is mellow now
its wild sputter no longer
trying to talk over the sun
it has one steady direction
shore

sunlight said

silence

just reflect

and the waves were calm

and the water beamed

The tide doesn't count her waves

they just come crashing

leaving rough jagged clefts in sand

sometimes licking softy

slick shallow pools of shore

the sand doesn't count lost granules

gathered up and thrown out 

to float and spiral down

eventually, into that deep dark

or perhaps be swept back up 

I dip my days in ink

tallying until they bleed into one another

a bigger mess than it seems

throw me to the tide

where I can stop counting 

The "city" life

Griping aside, there is a whole lot I get to enjoy as a part of my alternative living situation. 

The house I am in is like a little Island forest Oasis. I mean, its on "Treasure Rocks Rd" with "Treasure Hunter Ave " and "Pirates Way" branching off into little mountain cul-de-sacs. I almost feel like there should be one of those Pirate Ship amusement park rides in our driveway.


Like I mentioned, even the house feels fantastical. The structure is comprised of gigantic sheer polished logs that almost dwarfs any other architectural feature. Light fixtures and cabinetry just all become...wood. But it doesn't close me in. There are windows everywhere. It is impossible to be in a room without one. 

And with this view, why wouldn't you have windows wherever you could? 

The man that built it is an overambitious Army Vet and so there is always some quirky project going on to elaborate. He is also a rather tall individual so a few things in the house are abnormally large, namely important things like steps and tub walls. 





But the plant life that abounds is really what creates this little luxury sanctuary.

My friend's garden, growing a little bit of everything! Zucchini, tomatoes, lettuce, kale, peas, herbs...that weird tall artichoke-but-not thing in the back there....

 

The house is just a short jaunt away from town which consists of one vert quaint but fairly happenin' little road that runs up to 101 from the coast. They've got all the essentials - a local bank, post office, library, community center and even a farmer's market venue - and then some. 

One of the only places open before 8am and they have fabulous coffee.

The town's health food store carries a good selection of bulk items, organic produce, Organic luxuries and Kombucha.  And they also have good coffee.  

This bookstore is incredibly selective about their books and carries a lot of the latest best sellers as well as more obscure but highly acclaimed titles in spirituality and natural living and human development and history...they also have a large section of local writers and have local cards dispersed throughout the store. I was able to sell some of my notecards to them when I got here!

Manzanita is part of a trifecta of towns that I most recently heard embraced as "Manziwheelem" (Manzanita, Nahalem and Wheeler) The three towns run right into each other on the highway and for some reason, this address is even listed as Nahalem instead. Between Manzanita and Nahalem is a community garden that was built by one of the local architects. I got to see its humble beginnings when I was out here a couple years ago and now I've been back to witness the bounty that came from such hard-working gardeners

A portion of my friends plot at the community garden.

When I was here last, we had a solstice and prayer flag party. My flag is still there!

But not only does being in town allow for me this varied environment...there is also the upside of the daily commute: 

An Oregon signature: The Country Fair

At the end of my first week at the farm, Leslie, Andrew and I went on an Adventure to see what the infamous Oregon Country Fair was all about.

After getting up for 8am farm days all week, we awakened at the even earlier hour of 5:30 am to get on the road in order to stop at a recommended co-op in Corvalis on the way down to Veneta. A couple coffees and sing-alongs to old 90's music got us there easily.

Awesome co-op. They have local hummus and Kombucha by bulk. What else do I need to say? They're yellow? 

After getting turned around a couple times, we made it into Veneta a bit later than planned but parking in town was easier than I'd anticipated. While waiting for our shuttle to take us into the fair, we met a very nice fellow named Tucker who hitched onto our caravan for a bit.

Ending our day at the fair with new friend Tucker. 

The fair was...like paying to go to a Rainbow Gathering. Leslie and Andrew were pretty enthralled. I got sick of the congested paths, trying to keep track of people and walking around booths of incredibly expensive food and crafts. We'd all packed some snacks but by the end of the day, Andrew and I couldn't resist splurging and paying to split an enticingly unique-sounding hemp burger. It was okay.

Ginger had a booth there to talk about her off-grid farming

 I did enjoy the talent. Costumes galore and artists that just set up rugs off the path to play their music. In between the rushing and feeling like I couldn't stay any one place, I was able to catch most of a circus performance with some very impressive Silks work and acrobatics.

I was walking by the stage and had to do a double-take...Peter Yarrow from dad/childhood favorite's Peter, Paul and Mary? Yes, yes it was. 

Wonderlust Circus

the U-Ching 13-moon astrology table. They read our birth tones. That was nifty.

I also ran into a few rainbow family, many of whom had performances of their own scheduled for the fair.

While it was enjoyable for the most part, I left with the conclusion that the worth-while aspect of the fair was not the event itself but the "behind the scenes" community that was closed off to the layman. As a performer or gate worker, I could see the attraction. Once the gates closed for visitors, each evening lay ground for music and dance and food and meet and greets all night long. The sense of community probably makes the days and nights feel like a really fun village. But for visitors, there is a huge separation from that and it feels strictly limited to a commodity experience. Leslie and Andrew wanted to go back for another day but luckily they realized how worn out they were once they left that it was an easy notion to let go of. 

That night, we stayed with a Eugene connection graciously made by my friend Jeff. In the morning, after finding more coffee, we began to wind our way back up 101. We stopped a couple times along the way to watch the impressive rolls of fog over the ocean and pick up some snacks (and more coffee) and ended up taking a good 6 hours or so to wind our way back into town. 

A true napper.

coolest fog scene ever. 

Although the Country Fair was not necessarily the pinnacle of the weekend for me, I appreciated the time that I got to share with Leslie and Andrew. Living off of the farm has proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be. For the past few weeks, appointments, AmeriCorps preparation, the weekend job I did eventually snag at the Pizza Garden and now taking care of my friend's garden while she is away has forced me to sacrifice many bonding opportunities on the farm. After work, when everyone is getting ready to venture to the river or plan the night's dinner, I am sprinting off to a to-do list. 

Hopefully, this will change after this weekend!

A taste of farm life

Here is a glimpse of some of the day-to-days that go on at the farm. We've been fortunate to have almost perfect weather since I've been out here so everything has run super-smoothly. 

Besides a 60-member CSA, we harvest and prepare enough produce for a bountiful Friday market in Manzanita. But this means a lot of hard work and TLC to the fields the rest of the week. 

Last weeding wednesday, we tackled the youngest bed of carrots. Conveniently, the most abundant weed was very carrot-topped size so it was a...meditative event that spanned a day and a half's worth of weeding. 

Our most abundant crop. I challenge anyone to harvest peas and not eat one. The crisp is so satisfying yet they fill you up way too fast! 

Weighing out bags of peas for CSA boxes. 

So many peas!

This is our prep room where all of the weighing and making snack boxes and such happens. 

Our prep greenhouse where we meticulously wash and sort and count everything. 

Some of us get to slack off. 

We just got baby chicks last week! Meat chickens, unfortunately. But savor the cuteness!

Slugs don't mess around out West. 

Lunch in the Solar oven. Pop in at 8. Eat by 1. 

Pulling out old salad beds. Very satisfying after parsing through pounds of salad mix for good leaves. 

Exercising mad tetris skills to pack everything in for market.