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I don’t want to talk about my Sunday. Or my Monday. I don’t want to talk about loving and longing. I don’t want to remove from the theme of celebration. 

But all of those things exist because of deep devotion and care to the subjects that elicit those feelings. 

And so I will. 

Sunday was a day of connections that are too big for a 24-hour period. 

I had coffee with my dear friend Thomas but was rushed to prepare for my evening obligations. 

The evening was set aside for George, a dear love who I’d missed deeply and the terrible pain of one short evening to spend amidst the hubbub of a busy party weighed on me during the long flight home in the morning. 

And finally, my Anna. My beautiful, beautiful Anna. 

Lives are crazy, messy things. We try to organize them, make sense of them with mile-markers, events and accomplishments. We scrutinize the pitfalls and the struggles like points against our collection of milestones. In the age of Facebook, we materialize our life stories even more so, filtering what people see to compile a sellable product. 

But thats not life. 

Life is love, relationship and connection. Those don’t pick between ups and downs. They don’t follow logic or an agenda. Amidst trying to make sense of the good in the bad, love is outlasting. 

When you’ve had friendships that last for years, you watch one another change. grow, fall, hobble in between. But it doesn’t change the love. 

Anna and I are thousands of miles apart and yet she lives one of the closest to my heart each and every day. Even when we don’t talk constantly, I am influenced by my love for her. She has been one of the strongest people I know and developed and eye-opening, keen sense of others’ vulnerabilities. I have learned some of the most valuable things about both my strengths and weaknesses through having her as a friend. We have laughed and cried through our most vulnerable moments in life. 

Up to now, there have been markers, of knowing when we’d see one another again. Right now, I don’t have a clear marker. I don’t know when I will be back in Ann Arbor. I just have a clear knowing that I need her in my life. And flying away on Sunday, that weighed on me most of all.