I snuck out early on Saturday morning to plot the day. I charged up on a cup of coffee and waited for a reasonable time to go bother the Spruce about putting up some of the decorations. While waiting I did some inter webs coordination and began recruiting people for last minute tasks I hadn’t considered all the way through; planning a surprise party with an entire town is a surprising amount of work!
While I was at the Spruce, plating cupcakes, putting up streamers and leaving instructions for Cindy later on, I got a text from Mary. A death in the family that had been encroaching had come to pass. I returned with some coffee and we spent the next couple of hours in simple, quiet conversation. Around noon, I had my own memorial to attend for a dearly loved community member that passed a few months ago. It was shaping up to be a heavily-charged day, emotionally; the celebration of life and somberness of death starkly showing their continual coexistence all in one day.
The memorial I attended was for Liz Heoker. I’d met Liz last year while working at the community garden in Randle. I was immediately drawn to her authenticity and communion with the natural life around her. The second (and maybe even third time) we met was a coincidental run-in at the Olympia Food Co-op. In my short time knowing her, I’d gotten a strong sense that she would be someone I would love to know but time never afforded me that opportunity before she became sick.
Her husband Steve opened with a ceremonial acknowledgement to the four directions, and within his first words, my eyes were already welling up. I was deeply moved by his groundedness and his praise of her life above all else. He shared three stark memories of her that had come up for him recently, each painting the image of a woman who reminded me far too much of myself and I cried even more for this woman I could’ve learned from, to embody perhaps even more of my authentic self. A slide show gave me a glimpse into the true vitality of her life and I was met with an overwhelming sense of grace, but also of fear for the mystery that took someone like this from so many people so unexpectedly. It was a surreal experience, to be so moved by the essence of someone I had not even been able to spend much time with.
After the service, I headed back to prepare for the evening. Mary had gone on a walk to take the time that she needed for herself and we agreed to meet back up around 6pm and go down to the Spruce to “play some pool before I needed to host Karaoke.” I’d been hesitant with the day unfolding how it had but it became clear to me that the love she would soon be greeted with would be the right thing for this time.
As we got out of the car, I got my video ready on my phone, and headed in behind her. I missed the initial hurrah because the camera had been turned on myself but the effects of the surprise continued on far after the welcoming cheer. Everything happened so fast that even I had trouble taking it all in. The town had gathered around the front bar and filled in the entire space so that when Mary walked in, it was just one huge bar-full of people there for her. As she walked through, she was met with hug after hug. I didn’t know about her yet, but I was shaking and I’d already known everything. Of course, she had been shaking also. As greetings winded down, people started to bombard her with drink tickets until eventually, it was made clear that she needed food. I stepped outside to calm down while she ate and I couldn’t stop thanking people enough for bringing it all together. Not only were many of her dear local friends there, but Tony had driven up from Portland and our new friends Leo and Lewis had made it down as well.
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| Thats a heck-a-lottta cupcakes! |
One can’t really imagine what it feels like to experience the love of a whole community in one room until it happens. Throughout the night, people were coming up and congratulating me for pulling it off but all I had to say was how thankful I was to the town. Where else but Packwood could something like this happen?
Initially, the plan for Mary’s actual birthday on Sunday was to gallavant through the streets of Seattle but after the emotional roller-coaster of the last few days, priorities shifted. First, it was decided that Mary would be flying back East to be with family for the next few days which meant that I needed to get her to the airport on Tuesday. With packing and the late night before, we were off to a late start and didn’t hit the road until about 1pm. Half way down 12, I turned to Mary with an idea: what if we talked to Jordan to see about visiting her in Olympia instead of plowing through to Seattle? She was completely down with the idea and Jordan was around for the evening so we headed to her place instead, where we caught up while the three of us lay incapacitated on her couch, hiding from the 90 degree weather. Eventually we forced ourselves out to a park for a stroll and then went for dinner at Fish Tale Brewery, finishing the evening with a game of Taboo, perhaps my absolute favorite game as of right now.
Monday became Seattle day, since I had to be there for an appointment anyway and there was no point to go home just to turn around. My appointment ended up being an hour’s waste of time in a waiting room arguing with unhelpful receptionists about my insurance coverage. I eventually canceled the appointment and we went for coffee to plan our day and get my mind off the frustration (still unsolved.) We decided to play tourist and went to the waterfront to ride the Ferris Wheel. Not bad as far as tourist experiences go. We even indulged and bought our cheesy green screen photo because the silly face shot was so epic. With some midday drinks we passed time in the glammy bar by the ride, playing rummy while phones charged. Our next stop was to be the Library and perhaps exploration of the marketplace if there was time. On our way up the hill, we were approached by a young man with a raspy voice trying to find some food. Mary promised him some food if he came with us because I was in the hurry to find a bathroom and she didn’t just want to give him money. The man’s name was Kevin and he was 20 days in recovery, this time from Meth. We ended up walking and talking with him all the way up towards the library and he spoke a bit about his plans to go back to school and finish his degree in business. He had been going to AA meetings but disliked the flakiness of people he met there and was also fearing the three days he was going to have to face in jail. It sounded like he could have a hopeful future if he could stay clean and follow through with his jail time but I also knew he had a large liklihood of relapse with the lack of support he seemed to have. Before he left, I gave him my e—mail in case he decided to really keep putting forth the effort and needed supportive connections.
I’d wanted to show Mary the library because, well, its the best building in Seattle and you don’t even have to read words to love it. We had lost a bit of time with our spontaneous encounter and breezed through to the niftiest floors, but she agreed it was worth while. Back at the car, we headed over to pick up Chad, get sushi and end our evening at the Cider House. What we’d initially agreed to be an early evening ended up late once again of course, because we were having far too much fun playing Taboo and passing out the remainders of party cupcakes to pedestrians and cider patrons. I think Chad was amused, if not a bit overwhelmed at first, by our ridiculous antics that had developed as a symptom of many consecutive days side by side but he was very warmly invited into our clan of crazy and ultimately survived intact : )
Over the last three days, I have been going to bed as early as possible in preparation for Mary’s return today! Let the month of Mary re-commence!
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