To me, holidays are sort of checkpoints. We all want to believe that we're strong-willed and resilient, that we can take on our own agenda to be the spitting image of that person we idealize ourselves to be. Not only do we want to believe we can get there but that once there, we can remain infallibly true to that.
(I say "we"in the hopes that I am not the only one who mulls over excessively high self-standards.)
But life is complex and messy and chaotic and it is inevitable that we lose sight of what we - in some quiet moment of clarity - thought was so meaningful to our selves that we'd never forget.
I don't much care about the feasting (I overindulge much to the chagrin of my digestive issues) or the decorations (the turkeys you're eating are not that colorful!) or making sure I'm celebrating on the right day. I certainly don't care for many of the historical roots. However, each holiday I honor has a message within it that returns me to this deeper point in myself and reminds me about things that are important.
The origins of Thanksgiving are fucked up, but I will honor what it has evolved into. This is a time of year that the spot light is not on Ebola or mass shootings or the fact that our government opts to pass laws that sully any betterment of ourselves or the planet, disregarding all factual evidence to dissuade them. For now, we just remember gratitude and in turn, we are drawn to give more conscious thought into what stirs us and makes us fall in love with this big beautiful universe day after day. Not what makes us scream.
This year, I had my first double-feature experience with Thanksgiving. I always hear people talk about "feast-hopping" almost like bar-hopping. I could never fathom having to make it through more than one of those meals a year. But it is possible, apparently.
On Thursday, those of us AmeriCorps that had no nearby family-friend group to gather with raided the two apartments (owned by members...we're not that crazy) above the teen center. On my way up, I stopped by the family of one of our kiddos to share drinks and meet her grandparents, as well as her bedroom of American Girl Dolls and Horses. then on my drive, I got to play pass-the-phone with my family in Ohio and talk to my not-so-small-anymore cousins. In Morton the team shared an evening of feasting, Crimes Against Humanity (cause you know, that's all about the spirit of Thanksgiving) and hilarious family portrait sessions. All of these connections just touched the tip of the iceberg that weekend.
The next day, Ariella and I were in my car by 9am to head down to Eugene, OR for a second Thanksgiving with her family. As is only appropriate for this time of year, we were in a torrential downpour pretty much the entire way there, snailing down the highway. However, I think this made our arrival an even more blissful experience as we navigated through a hilly Eugene neighborhood to her sister's with the golden sun breaking through to illuminate the sudden burst of fiery red foliage that our WA is so desperately lacking.
With the festivities not until the Saturday, we had the afternoon to fill in with reunions (and in my case, introductions). Ariella and Artesia immediately put on their musical hats and we had a bit of a sing-along in the living room while Ariella coordinated with friends about meeting up. After a bit, we ended up settling on going to her friend Leah's and venturing over to the Eugene Holiday Market with her and her family. Walking through the neighborhood of fall trees with Ariella pointing out memorable spaces, I was reminded of my own home and taking Thanksgiving walks with my mom in Ohio.
The Market was much larger than I'd pictured in my head and I quickly realized my wallet was in jeopardy as I began to peruse the aisles. I hadn't given any thought to holiday shopping since I don't see myself celebrating the holidays much at all this year. Yet I do have a tendency to get caught in marketing traps every once in a blue moon and with the Eugene Market already having a special place in my heart, I found myself being tricked into an impromptu gift list for close family and friends. But my purchases weren't the only surprise. As I made my way towards the music stage in the center for a break in the browsing, I turned into the food court and standing just feet away from me was...Mindi, my Manzanita Momma!
I sat with her by the music for a while and could have caught up much longer but I still wanted to snag some of the items I'd considered and I knew we would have to get going soon.
Back at the house, another music session broke out with Leah and her family joining in their many songwriting, guitar-playing talents. With separate evening plans awaiting, we finally had to head out. We stopped at a store for some supplies and I got to witness the first of the family holiday quarks when the right kind of whipping cream couldn't be found. Ariella had warned me about some of the nuances that she found made her family whacky but I only found it endearing, and no more insane than some of the trivial crap that my family goes through come holiday time.
That evening, I went to stay with my friends Tucker and Kira in Springfield and we shared a meal of Thanksgiving leftovers, myself contributing a traveling pot of quinoa-buttersquash tastiness which was served up for meals three days in a row, as well as a good car-nosh amidst all the moving around and out-of-place eating times throughout the weekend.
By the end of the night, I felt elated and simultaneously nostalgic; I had returned to a space in myself that had been forgotten.
I spent the next morning at a bakery wasting with the most tantalizing Bagel smell ever, drinking coffee and basking in this return to a small inner whimsey. There are a few things out there I enjoy the smell of more than the taste of and Bagels are high on that list. I journaled, wrote down some craft ideas and began designing a tattoo for myself.
When people ask me if I have a tattoo or would ever get one, I give one of those answers that you've given so many times you don't stop to think about why you say it or whether it has changed anymore. "I might get one one day. But I'd want it to be small and I want to design it myself. I'd never actually tried to design one myself but after a recent conversation on the subject and this calming space I was currently in, I realized I knew what I wanted.
I don't think I want to explain it yet. But here are my doodles:
I met back up with Ariella and her sister around 1pm and we headed to a nearby park to get in an afternoon walk before the feasting and family of Thanksgiving: take two. Hillside (I believe that was the name) wound up a hill (surprise) through residential gardens and under large bellowing trees. A storm cloud hovered over the hill as we drove up and the light began to shift into that eerie silver glow. No sooner had we parked, it began to hail, the light still glowing brilliantly through gaps in the woods. Artesia and I walked through the odd storm until we'd had enough of the temperature, which had dropped a good 20 degrees. Ariella had come prepared to jog and ended up following a flock of wild turkeys around aimlessly before meeting back at the car.
Everyone was supposed to arrive for dinner around 4pm so we headed back to get set up. But just like my gathering social circle back home, the family had a designated "late-runner". But one by one, as her large family arrived, we meted and greeted and I felt immediately at home. just as immediately, music was a focus. I can best describe Ariella's clan as a hippie Von Trapp family. Each parent and sibling has amazing and unique musical talent and the bonds of their relationships - tensions and all - are beautiful things to witness. As each one settled into the house, instruments or samples of their solo work broke out.
About an hour into our wait for her older sister to arrive, someone began to play the 'We Love You' documentary on the television. Her dad's first gathering had been '78 and it was a blast hear about the elders he knew in the video and more insight about the faces that I knew as well.
As soon as her sister arrived, the focus went towards food and we all rushed to see how we might speed the preparation process along. we loaded our plates and then our happily fed clan sat down to play the biggest round of 'Crimes against humanity' I'd ever tried to play. The game is really a great way to understand more about people's personalities and I quickly got to understand her siblings different demeanors. Her sister Fairly's two year old son Trillion helpfully cheered for cards that his dad Matt prompted him to and danced around the middle of the room. We made it around once before we were ready for dessert.
The rest of the night commenced with music for hours until around 12:30am people cleared out and only a few of us were left to slumber in the living room.
I would never say I'd want to trade in my family. And I'm sure that the roller coaster of that upbringing had it's crazy moments that people would have preferred to change or do without. But when I saw the exuberance and the vitality in each person in that family, I couldn't help but have wanted some of that experience growing up. And I am so deeply thankful that they so openly shared and included me in part of that experience that weekend. I look forward to more experiences with my new branch of family : )
The next day, Ariella and I were in my car by 9am to head down to Eugene, OR for a second Thanksgiving with her family. As is only appropriate for this time of year, we were in a torrential downpour pretty much the entire way there, snailing down the highway. However, I think this made our arrival an even more blissful experience as we navigated through a hilly Eugene neighborhood to her sister's with the golden sun breaking through to illuminate the sudden burst of fiery red foliage that our WA is so desperately lacking.
With the festivities not until the Saturday, we had the afternoon to fill in with reunions (and in my case, introductions). Ariella and Artesia immediately put on their musical hats and we had a bit of a sing-along in the living room while Ariella coordinated with friends about meeting up. After a bit, we ended up settling on going to her friend Leah's and venturing over to the Eugene Holiday Market with her and her family. Walking through the neighborhood of fall trees with Ariella pointing out memorable spaces, I was reminded of my own home and taking Thanksgiving walks with my mom in Ohio.
The Market was much larger than I'd pictured in my head and I quickly realized my wallet was in jeopardy as I began to peruse the aisles. I hadn't given any thought to holiday shopping since I don't see myself celebrating the holidays much at all this year. Yet I do have a tendency to get caught in marketing traps every once in a blue moon and with the Eugene Market already having a special place in my heart, I found myself being tricked into an impromptu gift list for close family and friends. But my purchases weren't the only surprise. As I made my way towards the music stage in the center for a break in the browsing, I turned into the food court and standing just feet away from me was...Mindi, my Manzanita Momma!
I sat with her by the music for a while and could have caught up much longer but I still wanted to snag some of the items I'd considered and I knew we would have to get going soon.
Back at the house, another music session broke out with Leah and her family joining in their many songwriting, guitar-playing talents. With separate evening plans awaiting, we finally had to head out. We stopped at a store for some supplies and I got to witness the first of the family holiday quarks when the right kind of whipping cream couldn't be found. Ariella had warned me about some of the nuances that she found made her family whacky but I only found it endearing, and no more insane than some of the trivial crap that my family goes through come holiday time.
That evening, I went to stay with my friends Tucker and Kira in Springfield and we shared a meal of Thanksgiving leftovers, myself contributing a traveling pot of quinoa-buttersquash tastiness which was served up for meals three days in a row, as well as a good car-nosh amidst all the moving around and out-of-place eating times throughout the weekend.
By the end of the night, I felt elated and simultaneously nostalgic; I had returned to a space in myself that had been forgotten.
I spent the next morning at a bakery wasting with the most tantalizing Bagel smell ever, drinking coffee and basking in this return to a small inner whimsey. There are a few things out there I enjoy the smell of more than the taste of and Bagels are high on that list. I journaled, wrote down some craft ideas and began designing a tattoo for myself.
When people ask me if I have a tattoo or would ever get one, I give one of those answers that you've given so many times you don't stop to think about why you say it or whether it has changed anymore. "I might get one one day. But I'd want it to be small and I want to design it myself. I'd never actually tried to design one myself but after a recent conversation on the subject and this calming space I was currently in, I realized I knew what I wanted.
I don't think I want to explain it yet. But here are my doodles:
I met back up with Ariella and her sister around 1pm and we headed to a nearby park to get in an afternoon walk before the feasting and family of Thanksgiving: take two. Hillside (I believe that was the name) wound up a hill (surprise) through residential gardens and under large bellowing trees. A storm cloud hovered over the hill as we drove up and the light began to shift into that eerie silver glow. No sooner had we parked, it began to hail, the light still glowing brilliantly through gaps in the woods. Artesia and I walked through the odd storm until we'd had enough of the temperature, which had dropped a good 20 degrees. Ariella had come prepared to jog and ended up following a flock of wild turkeys around aimlessly before meeting back at the car.
Everyone was supposed to arrive for dinner around 4pm so we headed back to get set up. But just like my gathering social circle back home, the family had a designated "late-runner". But one by one, as her large family arrived, we meted and greeted and I felt immediately at home. just as immediately, music was a focus. I can best describe Ariella's clan as a hippie Von Trapp family. Each parent and sibling has amazing and unique musical talent and the bonds of their relationships - tensions and all - are beautiful things to witness. As each one settled into the house, instruments or samples of their solo work broke out.
About an hour into our wait for her older sister to arrive, someone began to play the 'We Love You' documentary on the television. Her dad's first gathering had been '78 and it was a blast hear about the elders he knew in the video and more insight about the faces that I knew as well.
As soon as her sister arrived, the focus went towards food and we all rushed to see how we might speed the preparation process along. we loaded our plates and then our happily fed clan sat down to play the biggest round of 'Crimes against humanity' I'd ever tried to play. The game is really a great way to understand more about people's personalities and I quickly got to understand her siblings different demeanors. Her sister Fairly's two year old son Trillion helpfully cheered for cards that his dad Matt prompted him to and danced around the middle of the room. We made it around once before we were ready for dessert.
The rest of the night commenced with music for hours until around 12:30am people cleared out and only a few of us were left to slumber in the living room.
I would never say I'd want to trade in my family. And I'm sure that the roller coaster of that upbringing had it's crazy moments that people would have preferred to change or do without. But when I saw the exuberance and the vitality in each person in that family, I couldn't help but have wanted some of that experience growing up. And I am so deeply thankful that they so openly shared and included me in part of that experience that weekend. I look forward to more experiences with my new branch of family : )
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