Shameless birthday plug

It’s not typical of me to think much about birthdays these days. Even before my 20’s, I sort of flat-lined at the “age is just a number” age. 21 was no special mile marker and I never felt my “age” in any of the other years either. And then, something came over me about year 25. I didn’t do anything particularly special to celebrate (except to carry on the PNW tradition of seeing Dusty) but I knew that the year to come was going to be one of some sort of significant growth and transition into a new level of “adulthood”. 

Of course, these revelations always seem more dramatic in the incubation period where you have the giant playground of the mind to imagine all the ways these themes are going to manifest. I certainly had the feeling that I would feel more “secure in adulting” or more “independant” than I do. But in looking back over the years, I realize my inkling wasn’t wrong. While the journey is far from over, I began/have begun exploring many vast new territories. I am facing insurance changes, I am having to start looking at budget and income in a different way, I am deciphering my passions with broader visions in mind, and the world has taken me by surprise by bringing a most incredible person in my life who has been a source of motivation for growth, support for setbacks and all in all, made the year one i will never forget. 

And now, another birthday approaches. Besides going off my parent’s health insurance in 11 days, this year seems to be another that is carrying very charged energy. With all the changes and challenges that have been overwhelming me lately, I’ve suddenly, for the first time in a long time, really felt young. I don’t mean young in the spry, rebellious, bullet-proof type of youth. But I mean that I really see the vastness of the space before me. It is a small piece of solace amidst all of the things that carry pressure. Perhaps part of this sensation is coming from my work with the elderly. I am really absorbing how much time there are in those years, where so much can happen and it takes so much time to figure out. It helps me feel a little bit better about struggling financially or floundering in my sense of direction. I don’t feel the same self-placed sense of expectation that I used to bring into my life. I’m cutting myself some slack out of necessity. 

Americans are great at empty celebrations. We’re like the wedding crashers of holidays. St. Patties? Yeah, my friends’ step-dads’ great-grandmother was Irish! Now let’s party! The power and significance of ceremony is lost on us. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/11/history-of-birthdays_n_4227366.html is an interesting collection of factoids about the origin of the birthday. I see “God” and “godliness” as those qualities within ourselves that bring us closest to being the most authentic and beneficial version of ourselves. Many of these qualities end up being universal, supported and enhanced through our interconnected nature. In essence, we are all “god” or  “spirit” or “soul” or “whatever you want to call it”. I typically don’t like to use terminology like this, because language tends to dissuade from true understanding in this context, so forgive the visceral cringe that I know its giving me, and possibly you as well. 

Anyhow, in this regard, it’s neat to see the evolution of birthdays, from a coveted royal event to a commonplace acknowledgement among all people. In this light, I see my birthday as an opportunity to both honor those qualities within myself as well as allow for honest reflection of where I can grow. We involved others in this celebration, both because they are able to honor spaces we may be blind to, as well as contribute insight in places where we don’t notice that we could do more growth. And it’s also just nice to feel loved, cause our best selves operate under those conditions. 

This was a lot more long-winded than I thought it would be, so hopefully you stuck with me! All to say, what do I hope for on my birthday? 

I do not want things. I DO NOT WANT FACEBOOK POSTS. What I would like: 

-A message, snail-mail or phone call offering a piece of insight/wisdom as to an aspect of my character that you think has room for growth.

-A message, snail-mail or phone call recognizing a gift that you feel is strong with me, that I should focus more intention on, that has a lot of potential.

-An experience. Preferably a surprise. A moment, an situation that excites, energizes, encourages a look through new eyes, revitalizes a stale outlook on life. Novelty and adventure inspires, reawakens. 

-If giving something really is simpler/more in line with what you are called to do, please consider this: I have a lot of practical needs that I am struggling to meet right now: A class to pay for, a license plate to get etc. The next tier down, I have a yoga membership to pay for and a hope to acquire backpacking gear. Finally, I’d like to start a savings for a bus. 

Any of these things are direct contributions to inner practical and/or growth, not some clutter filling my life. 

Thank you all for being a part of my life, being a part of my growth and being a part of the journey. 

<3

Melissa