I write this from the quietude of the Pacific Coast abode, safely back in one place (very temporarily) until my next big transition tomorrow. The car is holding up albeit with plenty of new squeaks and new oglers, getting attention now for more than just the plethora of bumper stickers. I am quickly developing driver's anxiety and am both anxious and relieved to get it to Washington where I can turn it over to a shop for evaluation resulting in insurance covered repairs at best and a totaled car at worst.
For thematic consistency, the crash seemed to set an overtone for my California excursion, denouncing its title from vacation to more of a challenge course for inner peace. While this meant that the ratio of bliss to work was more stratified, I found that the trip kept returning to a recognition that I have recently been living too far in my head, too expectant and too fearful of scarcity. In constraining the travel freedoms I had, I was reminded of re-opening some inner freedoms.
Confronting constraint was mostly in travel time. Besides no longer taking roadside pullovers as liberally, I quickly realized I had orchestrated my trip in such a way that had me barely even getting a sample sized flavor of the towns and places I passed through each day.
The morning after Nahko, I spent a few hours walking aimlessly towards Golden Gate park and ran into my hitchhiking friends Tex and Blossom and their Haight community. Blossom and I walked down Haight street and she treated me to some groceries and pointed out historical hotspots like Jimi Hendrix's red house and Janis' tree. After getting caught up with her, I found myself refraining from ogling the colorful signs and storefronts and street art of Haight Street to race the clock to Santa Cruz where I was supposed to meet Aliah for a Yoga video production at 4. Half a dozen lost phone calls later, I attempted to quell all frustrated, flustered tones from my voice as I lugged my belongings up the stairs. In my haste and anxiety about my car, I had risen my expectations on what sort of sympathy and coddling I "deserved" and arrogantly took offense when it seemed people did not "feel my pain." Like a child, I'd reverted to wanting my problems the center of other's worlds.
And like the world, it showed me who's boss.
The first thing Aliah offered as I clamored into her doorway was a hot tub. Then a Kombucha. Then later, her story. Her amazing struggle and her own crash that she had to do everything to pull herself out of on her own. And here I was wanting more attention for my own silly mistake.
As karma would have it, she ended up being more than just a source for balancing perspective. As I prepared to rush out (once again) the next morning, she opened her home to me and her attention to me in the role of sanctuary and personal guide.
Her offering offered everything that I had sort of been greedily expecting. A physical escape. A way to stop rushing. A way to be taken under wing.
I had rushed out because my next stop in my plans was Yosemite. I had just learned about the fire and found the travel distance to be much further than I'd first thought. But I had been set on it. I'm in CA, after all, right? I have to go.
At first, this constraint felt suffocating and overwhelming. Half way there, I could still hear Aliah's offer. Stay here. I think I can help you. I could have at least stayed longer, right? I was questioning not just the drive but my whole year-plan now. But I was stuck with my actions, so what choice did I have?
Day 1:
Everything feels like a crash landing. Squeezed into tiny pockets of time with no meaning.
I got into the park for free. No time to stop and soak in the splendor and I refer nostalgically back to my spontaneous time in Yellowstone where the air itself seemed to paralyze time. Now, I dart from parking to shuttle, stop to stop. Cash only, I hand over my coveted two dollar bill and my last three bucks to the register. Just enough daylight left to get my car and set up camp.
Leftovers, panning over what to do with the time I have left. Campmates from El Salvador soon joined by campmates who are climbers. A tense phone call home and I am jarred into realization. Hello, spontaneous world. I guess I need to relax.
Day 2:
Carpe Diem. My only day to spend in Yosemite. Homage to John Muir. Go out and find yourself. Go out and find a hike.
I chose the 4-mile trail to Glacier Point. Trying to calculate, I figured I would have a good hike up, a reflective meander back down interspersed with journaling. A couple of hours at the visitors center. Somewhere in there, I hope for a miracle that lets me relax into the beauty.
The miracle was not in the solace I planned but in company. at 8:45am, fifteen minutes after my trek began, I met Timo and Ben. They had started out a bit earlier but both were equipped with much nicer upgrades of my Canon Rebel and it was apparent they were not in any hurry. As I stopped to snap a picture behind them, they extended a friendly hello and our hiking group was formed. Timo and Ben had both flown into San Francisco from with a calling to the US to hike. Timo was taking time between graduate studies in Munich, Germany and Ben had left his French roots to move to Montreal and was just looking for a brief getaway. When they discovered their shared travel visions, they decided to get a hostel and split the cost of a rental car.
In the day's shift, it felt like nothing was sacrificed. where I usually feel that stopping for photo opportunities are inhibited with others, we all had the same knee jerk compulsion to stop around every corner and take pictures of the same painted curves and arches in the mountains at a dozen different vantage points. The cameras naturally pulled us together, all of our personal hikes speaking the same language. We respected stops. We were blissful in silence. We were sentimental about beauty. And we were not bashful about snapping pictures of one another. Ben's favorite shots were to capture people taking pictures of people. Timo shared my recently neglected pastime of road-less-taken vantage points that involved hopping rocks and darting through trees. Another reminder to break from perceived constraints.
The two of them had taken the time to get to the visitor center before hitting the trails and had managed to plan out a full day-trip with all of the proper trail maps. By the time we reached the top of Glacier Point, they had convinced me to alter my route and accompany them down the other side of the mountain onto the Panorama trail that led to Nevada and Vernell falls. What we had all assumed to be down hill turned into some of the most rewarding and muscle-aching 14 miles we had ever hiked at once. Especially at the falls, we took time to sit and take it all in. Yosemite has this intensely protective sort of force unlike any other national park I have experienced. And I felt like John Muir had sat in every place I sat.
At the end of the day, we collapsed on Shuttles that took us back to a 1-mile trail to our cars. A walk in the park after the day's demands, of course. We ended down in the valley with well-deserved Pizza and ciders and good conversation.
Day 3:
Packed and ready to go, I made it over to the Visitor's center for the educational portion on the wonders I was surrounded by. I took the walking path through the valley instead of the shuttle and sent gaping smiles into the sun. Our hike had momentarily swept away anxieties and agendas. I had found myself revisiting the same mantras and lessons that the woods of the porcupines had left me with.
You have no choice but to be HERE, NOW. What will you do with that?
Yosemite is a gem in California. Back during the Ice Age, much of California did not get cold enough to experience a lot of glacial action but Yosemite was one of the few places that did and the valley that formed as a result created quite an impressive central valley that continues to change through erosion and most prominently, rock fall. In fact, the first peoples to inhabit the land 7,000 years ago were called the Ahwahneechee which means "gaping mouth-like place". I felt like an old-timer to the glacial movement explanation after the travels of the summer but here, the rock type changed. In Yosemite, the dominating geological material is Granite. 100 million years ago, the Farallon surface plate shoved up against the American tectonic plates and caused a huge melting of heat build up five miles under the earth. Some of this action erupted as volcanoes but most of it solidified as Granite under the weight of rock over top and over time this rock was eroded to expose the granite. The nuances and characteristic qualities in the famous locations are distinctive through the various ways that the glaciers moved. Cathedral Peak, for example extra sharp cause the top stuck above the glacier line and did not get smoothed while Captain cooled more slowly and built up stronger Granite this way to be less effected by erosion.
The uniqueness of these Glaciers is part of what drew John Muir to the area and in 1871, he published the first piece of literature on Sierra Nevada glaciers and began conducting studies of their movement. As I read over the history, I realized that these studies probably played a large part in the shift of the parks utilization. Before becoming a park, it had attracted many miners during the gold rush. This also led to a huge massacre of the native Miwok and Palute in the 1851 Mariposa Battalion Raid conducted by a pro mining community of the nearby town. By 1910, 90% of the natives were dead and missing and the rest resorted to working in the tourist trade when the area became a park in 1864, selling arts to tourists or becoming employed to dance or show off ceremonial practices. Around this time, the park was advertised as a ritzy getaway for couples and had all the fancy facilities you could ask for. It wasnt until after John Muir began his studies that a shift started to focus more on the recreational use. In 1931, the national park service took up John Muirs personal hobby and began recording movements and by 1950, having a 2 million annual visitation rate, they finally plotted the removal of commercial facilities and raised environmental awareness. Today, Maclure Glacier still moves but the Lyell Glacier, originally the largest, has stopped and decreased in size by 62%, technically denouncing its Glacial status as well.
 |
| Pretty local Stellar's Jay |
The exhibit also had information on the native animals and artists that have been inspired through Yosemite throughout the years (with a whole gallery dedicated to Ansel Adams.)
But best of all, I got to get my picture taken with John Muir.
The three steps:
Imbalance/Resistance
Intuition/Integration
Retrospect/Balance
The morning after Nahko, I spent a few hours walking aimlessly towards Golden Gate park and ran into my hitchhiking friends Tex and Blossom and their Haight community. Blossom and I walked down Haight street and she treated me to some groceries and pointed out historical hotspots like Jimi Hendrix's red house and Janis' tree. After getting caught up with her, I found myself refraining from ogling the colorful signs and storefronts and street art of Haight Street to race the clock to Santa Cruz where I was supposed to meet Aliah for a Yoga video production at 4. Half a dozen lost phone calls later, I attempted to quell all frustrated, flustered tones from my voice as I lugged my belongings up the stairs. In my haste and anxiety about my car, I had risen my expectations on what sort of sympathy and coddling I "deserved" and arrogantly took offense when it seemed people did not "feel my pain." Like a child, I'd reverted to wanting my problems the center of other's worlds. 
The miracle was not in the solace I planned but in company. at 8:45am, fifteen minutes after my trek began, I met Timo and Ben. They had started out a bit earlier but both were equipped with much nicer upgrades of my Canon Rebel and it was apparent they were not in any hurry. As I stopped to snap a picture behind them, they extended a friendly hello and our hiking group was formed. Timo and Ben had both flown into San Francisco from with a calling to the US to hike. Timo was taking time between graduate studies in Munich, Germany and Ben had left his French roots to move to Montreal and was just looking for a brief getaway. When they discovered their shared travel visions, they decided to get a hostel and split the cost of a rental car. 
Packed and ready to go, I made it over to the Visitor's center for the educational portion on the wonders I was surrounded by. I took the walking path through the valley instead of the shuttle and sent gaping smiles into the sun. Our hike had momentarily swept away anxieties and agendas. I had found myself revisiting the same mantras and lessons that the woods of the porcupines had left me with. You have no choice but to be HERE, NOW. What will you do with that? 
No comments:
Post a Comment